Main » 2014 January 21 » Since My Eyes Resemble Shrivelled Aubergines True Religion Jeans
5:54 AM Since My Eyes Resemble Shrivelled Aubergines True Religion Jeans |
The naked True Religion Jeans Sale truth about
springing for the latest fashions It's spring!But before you get swept away with
fantasies of males seeking females and females inviting their overtures with
ardent enthusiasm, take a look in the mirror-Excuse me-Without your clothes.I
know it hurts, but it hurts me more(I don't know what this means but my mother
always says it when she's about to be hideously cruel to me).I looked in the
mirror yesterday and growling back at me was the bear that's been hibernating
all winter.Since march i've been covered in a shed full of thermal underwear,
skivvies, socks, jumpers, jackets, scarves, beanies and moisturiser.I'm a
walking sulo bin of stale odours, i can't smell them any more but i'm sure
everyone else can.I'm sorry, but what can i do-Winter stinks, so kill me
already. Wind, rain and nasal spray have ravaged my body-I sTood naked staring
at two crusty lumps that once were nostrils.I'm thankful i could see at all,
since my eyes resemble shrivelled aubergines.And in spite of smearing my face,
lips, hands and legs with tubs of moisturiser To prevent chapping and cracking,
my legs looked like two frankfurters that had split their skin.Never have i felt
such self-Loathing, but at the same time, inspired To take action.First step,
sTop shoving winter food(Read:Licorice all-Sorts, chocolate, pizza, potaTo chips
and anything with a high sugar content)InTo my gob.Follow up by sTocking the
fridge with food groups that convert To energy www.pctaxis.co.uk rather than fat and
hormonal tears.Finally, take a walk along chapel street To discover what's hip,
what's happening and what's have-To-Have for women this spring. Oh my god!What
happened?Did a flock of fashion designers gather together, take an esky-Load of
medication and play a game called"Let's see how wrong we can get this"?Ruffles,
floral prints, shreds of appliqued doilies on denim and crocheted see-Through
tops?Who did this?Who's going to run into myer and say,"Gimme that floaty,
turkish, '70s,Patchwork skirt for $700"?Patchwork?What were they thinking?One
magazine headline displayed in a shop window read"Patchwork, a lively jumble of
contrasting fabrics, crazy prints and glorious colour".I'm sorry, from where i
sit, if you're covered in lace doilies, and velvet and floral prints, you're
asking for a guy to fall asleep on you because you remind him of his
grandmother's couch. I march further down the street seeking answers.Forget
it.Store dummies poised click here to see more info about True Religion
Jeans in interpretive dance poses offer third world, bohemian kaftans
and shawls priced for limousine lifestyles.The term being used for this hunger
for all things exotic is"Radical chic". "Flower power meets street chic that's
made for city girls with a mission. "Ok, i get it;We're on a mission-What sort
of mission?To see how low our hipsters will go?Hipsters are great, but not
everyone can wear these butt-Skimming, navel-Exposing, sausage casings sold to
us as pants.Big wide belts are a must-Have accessory;Slung low on the hips they
give the illusion of toughness, even man-Style, military cockiness.I can't wear
these belts, i'm too short so i end up walking with the swagger of a continental
butcher. There's something synchronistic about the designers that would have us
dress up in the very items worn authentically by other women living in extremely
unexotic locations like refugee camps in afghanistan.Is this our mission then,
to try to find some common ground with women who really don't have anything to
wear because they barely have anything to eat?World events have changed us all
this last year.I'd like to think that fashion designers have tapped into our
collective unconscious to produce these"Hottest looks"So that we might be
encouraged to ask questions about their origins rather than be indifferent to
some of our current tragedies.This spring, i plan to wear anything that leaves
something to the imagination and shoes that i can kick off easily.
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